Myths About Grief

Myth:  The pain from experiencing loss will go away more quickly if I ignore it.

Fact:  Ignoring the pain will not make it go away, facing your grief actively will help promote true healing

 

Myth:  If you don’t express your grief through expressions of sorrow and tears it means you are not feeling sorry about your loss.

Fact:  Crying is a normal response to grief, but there are other normal grief responses as well.  Each grieving person needs to have support even though they will all express their grief in their own unique ways.

 

Myth:  It is important to be strong and hold back emotions when confronted with grief to show others you are not weak.  

Fact:  Strong feelings such as sadness, fear, or loneliness are normal reactions to grief.  Expressing these feelings does not mean that you are weak.  You don’t need to “protect” your family by hiding your grief.  Showing your feelings will help you and your family.

 

Myth:  Your grief journey should last about a year.

Fact:  There is no time frame for grief.  The amount of time it takes to have feelings of grief subside can vary with each individual.

 

Myth:  Moving on with your life indicates that you have forgotten about your loved one.

Fact:  When you move forward in your life it indicates that you have accepted the loss of your loved one which is a positive step in healing.  Making life adjustments is not the same as forgetting . . . the memories you have of your loved one will remain a part of you.

 

Myth:  Grief work is done in advance when a death is anticipated.

Fact:  Although some grieving may be done before the person dies, the actual death may still cause intense grief reactions.

 

Myth:  It is helpful for the griever if friends don’t bring up the subject of the loss.

Fact:  Those who have experienced loss are usually desiring to talk about their loved one and their grief experiences.  Talking helps to process the grief.  

 

Myth:  Saying “I know how you feel” is a helpful way to help someone who is grieving.

Fact:  We all experience grief in unique ways and it is probably not possible to truly know how someone else feels.